I had no idea this was written by Leonard Cohen

this song, hallelujah, is very moving. i think i had only heard the version by jeff buckley. at any rate it is a poignant song of relationships gone awry....nice to know relationships have not changed since david's time.....

this resonates

some may think i should be ashamed to admit it but, i'm not, and there it is.....

I heard this song by fiona apple the other day as i was driving to work; i had heard her name but never associated with any of her music til now..... i kinda resonate with the way this girl thinks, and you know how much i love the double meaning ( think shins : 'turn on me' / turn me on) ..... hahaha

"Get Him Back"

One man, he disappoint me
He give me the gouge and he take my glee
Now every other man I see
Remind me of the one man who disappoint me

But wait till I get him back
He won't have a back to scratch
Yeah, keep turning that chin
And you will see my
Face as I figure how to kill what I cannot catch

So I say, and on I go
To another one to disappoint me so

Next one up, a contemptible snob
He live to put things in their place
He did a commendable job
He put himself so low
He can hardly even look me in the face

O, he made my blood just burn
I flipped so far, I thought that I would not return

But the last one I had who was getting my hopes up
I might've been a little fast to dismiss
I think he let me down, when he didn't disappoint me
He didn't always guess right, but he usually got my gist

So wait till I get him back
I'm gonna bring him home and I'll watch him unpack
Yeah keep turning that chin
And you will see my face is fixed on the one
I'm gonna get back

I'm gonna get him back
I am
I'm gonna get him back
I really am

letting go of letting go.......

well we had our first rehearsal last night with me as part of xian's band 'all hail dischordia'. i didn't know what i was going to be able to bring to the table; i had listened in depth and actually analyzed harmonically what was going on in the songs in the myspace player, and was ready to just contribute. it ended up that in order to accommodate the new dimension, the songs pretty much had to be repurposed, and the guys loved what came out of it. the myspace recordings are full of overdubs which could not be done live without a couple other people and instruments anyway. at any rate it felt and sounded good.

after playing around with the older songs, we started to get into one of the newer ones they had been trying to put together for the last 6 months. the song we worked on does not have a name, as the band does not name their songs until they are finished, but they did already have an idea for what they wanted from a keyboard/synth player. i really enjoyed the experience very much, and didn't get home until closer to midnight! very unusual for me. my life had kinda morphed into a solitary kind of existence, going to work, coming home, taking care of the birds etc.

in addition to all this newness, all of my letting go of unnecessary stuff, has brought me to a place of letting go of letting go. letting go of a lot of newly revealed mindsets, particularly those that have to do with the box that i put god in all my life. it is very scary to live without the idea that everything i am doing is for some ordained purpose. and it sux to realize that that is one of the safety nets i clung to all my life to get me thru.

i am sick of observing my life as a reporter rather than just living the damned thing.

newness everywhere i go

so many new things have been happening these days. and add to that my most recent addition to the clan: his name is spencer (after the salesman whose heart was broken to see him 'go'. i had my eye on spencer for several months, and just couldn't bring myself to invest such a large amount of payola, but on my most recent visit i decided it was time, and decided to go with the interest free deal.
here he is (he's an african grey, btw)
:

here's a picture of the entire jungle gym that i have in my bedroom:



the other new thing that's pretty awesome is that xian asked me to be a part of his band all hail dischordia. of course i said yes. it seems my life is beginning to take off here in pittsburgh what with the job, becoming a member of the diocesan choir, the birds (all 5 of them!) and joining the band. all i have to say is that it is a good thing that my job is not 9-5 punch a clock!

let go a grip

it has been a while now since i've last written, but i've been going thru so much personal stuff i just don't care to write about it. Some of the highlights since March:

- holy week and easter season
- mom's surgery may 1
- new toys: Juno-g; micro br
- extensive dental work
- fr. frank's 40th anniversary liturgy
- preparation for the 100th year anniversary of ressi parish
- new tech to service the organ at ressi
- xian's music

i may add to this list later.......

the new additions to family

i guess i forgot to add pics of the new angels that have come to stay in my charge:

that's rufus who you met earlier, with maya, a blue ring-necked parakeet in a tree in our backyard. i got maya to keep rufus company when i was away at work.


i also got a companion to keep zoombaloomba company; another cockatiel named pearl.