Relationships, Attachment and Hostage Taking

    I was originally attracted to the article in question because of its mention of the alluring taboo "Polyamory' in the title "Polyamory chic, gay jealousy and the evolution of a broken heart". The article itself reflected an interesting perspective, but the ideas that stirred my own subjectivity and elicited an impulse to comment were those where reference was made to the activity of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain.
    Bio-Psychology deals with the formation of neural nets, and the interactivity of the nervous and endocrine system, and particularly how the neurons themselves transmit chemical information from one to the other, and how  certain chemicals released across the synaptic gap activate the endocrine system to discharge hormones into the bloodstream and convey information that engages the activity of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.  
    In speaking about  the 'protest stage'  regarding the human heartbreak experience relative to human relationships, Mr. Bering states that in the wake of a break-up, "at the neurobiological level, the protest stage is characterized by unusually heightened, even frenetic activity of dopamine and norepinephrine receptors in the brain, which has the effect of pronounced alertness similar to what is found in young animals abandoned by their mothers". It seemed to make sense to me, in light of the work done on attachment by John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and more recently Mary Main, that what might be at the bottom of post break-up suffering, are really unreconciled maladaptive attachment  issues.
    If the child's Trust vs. Mistrust (Erikson) task had not been resolved, then it is likely that one or both of the players in a couple dyad may be using the relationship as the battleground to resolve their own attachment issues. Unbeknownst, the significant other may be surreptitiously cast as the surrogate parent of the one whose attachment bonds were never imprinted in a healthy, satisfying manner, and so they are carrying forward into all future relationships the only model available to them upon which to pattern subsequent relationships.
    So many emotions are elicited in the drama of relationship, each with its own accompanying brain neurochemical plasticity potential. Positive relational experiences patterned on a healthy model of early trust imprinting and bonding will tend to build neural connections that will activate and reinforce positive emotional states of well-being. On the other hand, brains that are building according to the effect of "pronounced alertness' hypervigilant and in continuous survival mode, may have more a tendency to develop Depression, lethargy, despondency and despair, as the continuous enslaught of those particular chemicals support a brain design network supporting maladaptive strategies for human engagement and relationship.
    In any event, the emotional structures that are built throughout our lives hinge upon the models provided in the earliest years of life by our primary caregiver. It would seem to make sense that unresolved issues in the earlier stages of human development would naturally be carried forward into subsequent  stages. It does not matter that the mind is not in sync with the biological demands of each subsequent stage. The 'beat goes on' as they say and is most obvious as we experience a seemingly grown adult acting like a five year old throwing a temper tantrum when their emotional needs are not being met in an adult relationship.

Based on the article: Scientific American Mind magazine, research psychologist Jesse Bering of Queen's University Belfast August 25, 2010. Title: Polyamory chic, gay jealousy and the evolution of a broken heart By Jesse Bering

http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=polyamory-chic-gay-jealousy-and-the-2010-08-25