Celebrating the memory of a matrix

 Sc/een.e from a Balcony 2-9-25 7:30am

life on repeat

It's that time of year when there's not much variety in early morning sky. It's comforting, whenever stepping out on the balcony this morning, to feel a lack of frigidity and welcomes an intrusive thought urging me to get out for a nice pleasant walk. 

Remembering Mother

Today, I celebrate the birth of my mother (r.i.p. Aug 6 2012).

Lois was  the second born of the same gender in a conservative family of 7, (four girls and a boy) who aligned with the Roman Catholic belief that birth control was immoral and unnatural. She spawned a brood of 12 in the first 13 years of marriage (only 8 survived), and each of her sisters seemed in competition to beat each other to the top of the 'who can have the most births' mountain. It was a tie with her third sister, though ultimately, both she and her sister, in addition to losing pregnancies, also lost a son who were well beyond the latency period. (r.i.p. brother Bill and cousin David).

Mom, seated, with sister Barb:
the winners of the race!

My mother was the inspiration of several of the songs I wrote in my early life.

    Loireschu ©1975 by Ron Schulz

Loireschu I can't believe what I am seeing, in silence you dance through your sorrow.

Living these years in a love so unfulfilling, and dreams for a brighter tomorrow.

In your voice I hear the song of my Lord, a voice I can't afford to ignore.

Loireschu, I can't believe what I am hearing, they've plundered your fountain of youth.

They have challenged your wisdom and scrutinized your glory, the bindings, once joined, now, are loose.

Eight eyewitnesses that don't give a damn, and I've watched your dreams turn to sand.

Loireschu I can recall when life was younger, when life was a mere feather bed.

Then my rose colored glasses got trampled in the scuffle, dark changes that passed through my head.

Still your hope remains a beacon in the night: a promise of the days dawning light.

In your voice I hear the song of my Lord, a voice I can't afford to ignore any more.

 Loireschu

 

Two other titles with allusions to the imprint mother made on my psyche are : 

Seasons of Your Soul © 1975

Roses for the springtime

she sacrificed her own and took his name

Promising to never love another more

Planting seeds in fertile seasons

was agreed would be reason

to keep love alive

to help prolong the family tribe

She bartered wealth for peace

according to that western bible's bribe

When the summer lures you

away into the arms of feeling proud

Unaware, this is where the past begins

Then in loving's vague endeavor

Summer loses you forever

to the charms

of a richer bounty's arms

Denying shelter in the safety of

that western bible's bribe

Fall-

the harvest is taken in

The cold winter wind begins to loom

while naked in the moon

bare trees are natures tombstones in

the seasons of your soul

Now the frozen river

skaters skim the surace while below

prisoners gaze through empty eyes of soorow

Campfires blaze, still bodies shiver

Hell is just a frozen river

and it will remain

till springtime comes around and then

She'll plant her seeds again according to

that western bible's bribe

and 

On This Ship ©1975

I remember when love was just a letter 

   And life was just a lesson to be learned

On this ship and this never-ending journey 

   On this never-ending sea where time's concerned

Building bridges would soon amount to nothing

   That middle-class association theme

Plagued my mind with it's misconcepted theories

   They never proved to be quite what they seemed

   But the Wind, She is my Savior

   And the Sun, She is my Guide

   And my Soul it magnifies their Glory

   Children without homes this world has grown

   Destined to sail their empty seas of time alone

He was lonely, a poor boy in trouble

   Who knew not how or why the sun should shine

She was simply a stronger individual

   Just a-lookin for someone to stand behind

I survived my parochial existence

   And all the fears induced upon my youth

Given orders but never explanation

   They thought I was was too young to know the truth 

   But the Wind, She is my Savior

   And the Sun, She is my Guide

   And my Soul it magnifies their Glory

   Children without homes this world has grown

   Destined to sail their empty seas of time alone

In my lifetime I've known a lot of people 

   They've put their faith in books and magazines

And their children they've raised them up in light of the

   Stories that they've seen on their TV's

As for me, well I hope for new direction 

   for everyone involved in life's parade

On this ship where we learn from all the errors 

   that the one's who sailed before us might have made

   Hey,  the Wind, She is my Savior

   And the Sun, She is my Guide

   And my Soul it magnifies their Glory

   Children without homes this world has grown

   Destined to sail their empty seas of time alone